Earlier today I wrote about positive thinking and I want to re-connect to that topic and tell you about a really personal experience I have had with practicing this.
I begin to tell you my story…
It was Monday, the 10th of August 2009. I was on summer break on Gotland (an Island outside Sweden). My phone is calling early morning time, and my father was in the other end.
He was really upset and scared, he told me that his mother, my grandma was missing and her house has burned down. Also her ex- boyfriend was missing he told me.
I got so scared, I just talked to her for some days ago and now it seems like something had happen to her.
Dad told me that he would call me as soon he would get any more information about the situation.
Some time went and I was so scared, i was on this Island and couldn’t do anything.
And then the call came, that call that SO I clearly still remember today.
-They have found 2 bodys in the house.. My dad told me, he had already jumped in the car and was on his way up to her house. (its a 6 hour drive).
I was devastated, I couldn’t believe this. I booked a ticket home and got home after some day.
My loved grandmother, it was so much questions. -What happened? -Why? -How are we suppose to go through this?
The police went through the case and they founded that she had been murderd by her ex- boyfriend. And in all of this he set the house on fire and killed him self to.
We had no memories left from her, everything got burned to the ground.
How were we suppose to move on?
Every day I was angry and sad, WHY US?
I was in my last year of highschool and I couldn’t focus, I was so blocked by the loss and couldn’t produce a thing.
Then I went on a course the school had, the subject was about thinking positive and handle stress during this last school year. When I today look back at this particular course it clearly saved my entire mental wellness! Thank you Kopparlundsgymnasiet, from the deepest part of my heart!
Without that I would never been thinking as the way I’m doing today.
They made me realised that I could turn this situation to something completely different.
Before I felt like a victim and I punished my self.
I came to realise that the POWER is in my hands on what i will do with this situation, am I going to let it make me feel that all people is useless and I hate everyone in my surroundings? I was really tempted to do..
I made a decision, I would FIGHT my thorough this final year and I would do it for my grannie. I loved her so much and I wanted to stand on my exam day and make her proud!
That was my driving force and it have been stucked to me since then.
The power of a situation is in how YOU decide to tackle it, how you are thinking about it.
I couldn’t change the fact that she had been BRUTALLY murded but I could change the way I reacted to it. I want to tell you this because it is SO many people out there that gets super sensitive and negative about small unnecessary things. Focusing on the things that matters, and pay attention to your thoughts about it. How can YOU turn this to something more positive?
Today I can be grateful for this, without that happening I certainly wouldn’t be there i am today. I wouldn’t have been fighting SO hard to made her proud, and without that fighting I wouldn’t have been experience everything that I have had experience. I would never had learned everything that I have learned until this day, and I would never have had the courage to go to egypt and working in water (I was terrified of water)..
There is SO much things I have done because of that situation, so even though I would LOVE more then everything else in the whole world to have her back, I can’t, and I can’t change the past. But I can change HOW I react to a situation and how I can use it as a strength to move forward in my life.
She would NEVER liked me pause my life and go down in a depression, she would never approved that.
So I will continuing to fight in my life and continuing to make her proud! That is still my motivational force here in life for everything I do. I fight to help people learn how to help them self, so we can build a society of people that isn’t mentally destroyed and want to hurt other people because they are screwed up physically and mentally.
I love you Grandma
Maj Eriksson 2009-08-10
Here is some articles about the tragedy (In swedish though)